People Who Aren't Christian But Put Up Christmas Trees

What's up with people who aren't Christian but put up Christmas trees and celebrate Christmas like it was the birth of their savior.

Christmas is not an American holiday. Jesus was not American.

Jesus didn't save my people's collective ass. I'm not celebrating anything.

It's not my holiday, it's not a holiday for billions of people in this world. You don't see me celebrating Bastille day.

And Cinco de Mayo is an exception. Everyone should be happy that the Mexicans won whatever stand-off that was and eventually gained independence.

Every year same shit, people wishing me Happy Holidays on Christmas. I don't give a shit about Christmas; being nice to people one day out of the year.

Why can't everyday be Christmas?

People giving each other presents, decorating their front lawns with crazy lights, and volunteering at soup kitchens year-round.

I'll chug the nog, I'll take advantage mistle toe, and I'll get really fucked up with all my friends that celebrate Christmas but you'll never see a Christmas tree in my house. Unless I marry a Christian, but then I'm putting a big ass American flag on top of that big fragrant fire hazard.

One last thing, for the record I think Jesus is a wuss.

Today's Question for Consumption

Why do lesbians dress like men?

Me and lesbians have some fundamental similarities, including but not limited to the fact that we all love T & A and want to fill vagina holes. We love the ladies. Fat chicks, skinny chicks, sluts, prudes, asians, latina, or all of the above, but for some reason many lesbians prefer their partner to be as butt ugly as possible. I have seen so many man-looking lesbians I don't even know what to think.

And I am talking about lesbians, not women who prefer women. Lesbians are self-proclaimed and fit into lesbian culture; as we all know, every woman would hook up with chicks under the right circumstances (spring break, frat parties, strip poker, any situation with alcohol etc.) so "regular" women are not considered in this argument.

Why do lesbians prefer their partners to be butch? I prefer my women to be sexy, in shape, clean shaven, wearing pants that fit, no dirt under the fingernails, nice smelling and not fat, but it seems like lesbians have totally different priorities.

Damn, I'm happy I'm not a lesbian.

Hip Hop

This is hip hop when I grew up.

Square Dance: Jamaican Style

Square dancing seems to be the new thing in Jamaica....

Square Dance Riddim one was released earlier this summer and features Beenie Man, Vybz Kartel, Sizzla, and Mad Cobra.

A second Square Dance Riddim has been released and features such dancehall stalwarts as Elephant Man and Mr. Vegas.

Check out the free downloads at this blog:

http://dancehallzone.blogspot.com/

JOKE

So this lady holding a baby walks onto a bus . Immediately the bus driver turns to her and says, "goddamn thats an ugly baby!" The woman is obviously offended and she storms to the back of the bus where she sits next to an old man. She says to him, "I can't believe that! That bus driver just said the rudest thing ever to me!" The man looks at her sympathetically noticing the anger in her eyes and responds, "well, you better go up there and say something, don't worry I'll keep an eye on your pet monkey."

What Was That? Lightning?

Uh oh here comes the thunder....

First off why do people like babies so much?

Street Thunder hates them. But you may ask, how can Street Thunder hate babies wasn't he a baby?

You stupid human, Street Thunder was born 90% man and 10% lightning. I was potty trained in the womb, and my womb was a bolt of lightning.

2nd Amendment

If legislation makes you horny check out the Supreme Court's ruling that the 2nd Amendment guarantees the right of individual citizens to bear arms. It's some hot shit.

I especially got turned on by the discussion of the phrase "bear arms." Apparently some dissenting losers argues that "bear arms" refers specifically to members of a militia. But then my man Justice Scalia was like "bear arms" must not exclusively refer to members of a militia because, basically, it can be followed by the phrase "for the purpose of hunting game." By this point my vagina was already wet, but then he was like, so if "bear arms" was strictly referring to the use of arms in a militia then the phrase "right to bear arms for the purpose of hunting game" is ungrammatical because contradictory qualifying phrases don't exist; this almost made me cream my pants! By that point I was exhausted so I didn't read the next 120+ pages, but you can check it out yourself.

Cuddle up with your girl, light some candles, bring out a bottle of fine wine and read all about the 2nd amendment. And if you really wanna get freaky read the accompanying Linguist briefs in which they prove the meanings of the various words included in the original Amendment.

Enjoy!

Baby Flying

Some of you may have already seen this.

Let's say you were into abusing babies...

What would be the best way to satiate this voracious hunger for infant suffering?

Have your friend film you launching a baby off of an air pillow and then post the video on youtube for the world to see!

On women

Women...


What're you gonna do?

You can't beat 'em with sticks.

Reggaeton Fight

http://www.impre.com/eldiariony/espectaculos/musica/2008/7/1/repudian-pelea-de-reguetoneros-64652-1.html


They always blame it on the music....

What's Up With Porno These days?

What ever happened to the days when porno was about pizza delivery guys, schoolgirls, or rampaging prostitutes? Normal porn. Tender love scenes depicting sex-starved librarians or repressed religious figures embracing their sudden lustful outbursts. Intricate plots, classic dialogue, fun and educationsal, these pornos provided a healthy outlet for millions of teenagers and adults alike.

Porno in the Reality TV Age is about dirty latina maids, asian street meat, and MILF's. Women plucked off the street; amateurs who know nothing about the art. Degraded and humiliated, these women become simple objects of desire; often covered in semen. Real Bangkok whores look at me with hungry eyes, drunken college girls stare blankly through me, and sometimes a poor immigrant will even cry at my feet. Reality porn. Simulated real humiliation and degradation; emotional baggage on display. Drunk college ho's, abused women, and duped girlfriends stripping for their boyfriends; all for my viewing pleasure and at my fingertips.

Anyone down for a Bukake?

Eminem Prank Calls LL Cool J

A heart felt moment on Tony Touch's Sirius Radio show when Eminem prank calls LL Cool J. What begins as a simple world re-knowned rapper pretending to be a fan of a self proclaimed Greatest of All Time prank call becomes a sweet game of name that tune in which the former performs memorable parts of raps by the latter. The caller then reveals himself to be Eminem; he professes his career-long admiration of LL. Then the two rappers tenderly embrace and much respect is given.

A massive Shout-out to Corky from Life Goes On

I never really had too much respect for Corky on Life Goes On; I mean how hard is it to play a character that's retarded? I respect the fact that the man got himself onto a very successful and respected primetime sitcom. But seriously, where's Corky now? I haven't heard anything from him in years. Supposedly he has a band but I haven't heard any of its songs; it must not be that successful. What a loser!

But recently I realized I'd respect Corky if he could flow.

Youtube delivered.

Although it wasn't exactly what I expected, or hoped for, I still gotta give respect where its due.

Big Up!

FIGHT THE POWER!

awesome

Today's Question

Why do we spend so much money on retarded people when we can spend that money on people who aren't retarded?

Good movies

Here are a couple semi-autobiographical male director young adulthood movies that I seen:

I Vitelloni directed by Federico Fellini (Italian, 1953)

Good story about a handful of friends in their late 20's who can't seem to escape the small seaside town that they grew up in. They drink, they smoke, and they womanize, but one ends up marrying another one's sister. Things get hectic when this newly married man can't give up his old habits.

4.0 out of 5 thumbs up the butt

Mean Streets directed by Martin Scorcese

Heartwarming tale of some wannabe big-time small time crooks that dwell in the underbelly of early 1970's NYC. Harvey Keitel falls head over heels for the cousin of gamble-aholic Robert De Niro. Tensions escalate when De Niro's character, who owes mad money to another guy in the crew, begins to get out of hand.

4.0 out of 5 thumbs up the butt

A message...

Open up your butt cheeks and let's get it crackin'

Here's some knowledge fo' yo ass

"To speak means to be in a position to use a certain syntax, to grasp the morphology of this and that language, but it means above all to assume a culture, to support the weight of a civilization."

"A man who has a language consequently posses the world expressed and implied by that language"

Franz Fanon

Fo' rell...

Question For Potential Girlfriend

If you are on a date a fancy restaurant and a fly lands on your meal, what do you do?

A) Call the waiter, complain, and demand a new meal
B) Shoo the fly away then continue eating
C) Act like nothing happened
D) Have sex with me

Best Genitalia Song Ever

Bank of America Sucks Assholes

I am a victim, once again, of Bank of America's wrath. Three overdraft charges on three items. Three items that, respectively, cost approximately $3, $8, and $10; the items were bought in this order. I had about $9 in my account. Obviously I did not have enough to cover all the items, but did have enough to cover either of the first two that I bought. Bank of America charged my account in this order; $10, $8, $3 so that I would receive the greatest penalty, $105.

$35 for each item. $105 fine for going over approximately $12. An almost 1000% fine.

Imagine I overdrafted by $900 and received the same penalty. That would be a $9,000 fine. But there is no such fine. In reality, my overdraft fee would be for $35.

These fines are not geared at the big spenders, those who always have money in their accounts and make big purchases. No, because the more money an account has, the more money Bank of America can lend to others to make more money. Understandably, Bank of America prefers these customers, but at the same time penalizes those who hover near balance zero and who make small purchases, often.

But who falls into these categories? Who hovers near the balance zero, struggling paychek to paycheck? Who is most liable to incur these fees? Who is most hurt by these fees?

Working full-time, 40 hrs a week...

If I made $7 an hour, a $105 fine would be over 33% of my paycheck pre-taxes.

If I made $30 an hour, a $105 fine would be approximately 8% of my paycheck, pre-taxes.

If I made $50 an hour...about 5%


.....

Killing Immigrants in South Africa

Currently in South Africa rampaging mobs have been storming through ghettos and killing immigrants. These groups of armed citizens have killed at least 12 people, mostly Zimbabweans. Beaten, stabbed, and burned alive, immigrants have been the targets of frustrated citizens angered by the influx of millions of persons from neighboring poorer African countries into South Africa which maintains a weak economy and one of the world's highest crime rates. South Africa has the strongest economy in the region, though its economy still kinda sucks compared to most country's, but Zimbabwe's sucks even more so over three million Zimbabweans have taken refuge in the formerly English colony.

Maybe I'm living in the past but I'm gonna blame the Dutch and English for this. When is the last time you seen any good news coming out of a former colony? Native Africans should have attacked the whiteys who took the land in the first place. Amandla!

One more thing...

So 50 Cent has his chain snatched while on stage in Angola. You can check out the video on YouTube. This is old news by now, the culprit was turned in to the authorities by his parents but still important issues linger.

What does 50 expect? He performs in front of thousands of people in a poor former colony in Africa, probably charging them out the ass for tickets and other concert related memorabilia and food. Wouldn't you be pissed if an over-paid ghetto embracing mansion owning performer paraded his wealth in front of you? Lets look at some statistics:

Angola:
GDP - per capita (PPP):
$6,500 (2007 est.)

Hmmm...that means 50 Cent's chain is probably worth over a hundred times what an average Angolan makes in a year.

Angola:
70 % below the poverty line

United States
12% below the poverty line

Just to put this into perspective the poverty line is around $25,000 a year for a family of four in urban areas, so you can imagine what the cut-off is in Africa...

50 should have let the kid keep the chain. Isn't 50 the one that embraces the thug life? Isn't he the one who made 100's of millions selling this image? He deserves a taste of what he claims to love. He should show this ballsy kid some respect. 50 needs to remember when he was hungry and went at all the top rappers. At one point 50 was this kid. But now 50 only worries about maintaining his evanescent ghetto image; he makes up lies about how his snatched chain was retrieved shortly after and he jumped off stage and punched the kid. 50 needs to embrace the truth and accept that he is no longer the victimizer, he is not underprivileged, he is now in position to be the victim and he needs to embrace this new status because then he'll achieve what he wants so bad, to actually be keeping it real.

Humanitarian News

Here in America, the best country in the world, we are often very ignorant of what's going on in the rest of the world. You might be thinking, "Cigarettes are almost $7 a pack and you want me to worry about a worldwide food price crisis?" I feel you, but sometimes its nice to put things into perspective and see how much more awesome America really is. So, this is to all you stupid ass liberals talking about how much American sucks...


Somalia is not just starving kids and downed US helicopters apparently now its all about random killings of civilians.

http://www.amnesty.org/en/news-and-updates/report/routine-killings-civilians-somalia-20080506

Here's a juicy excerpt:

Nasteexo, aged 25, left Mogadishu because of insecurity. Break-ins had become common.
Armed men opposing the TFG, called Mooryaan, took her sister,

“First they steal, then they take away the girls. Sometimes the girls come back, sometimes they don’t. It was a Thursday in mid-November. We were robbed by armed men. They were only two, and they were masked. They tried to take my sister, but my husband intervened, saying ‘this girl is too young and poor.’ This is when they shot him in the chest with rifles. Then the two masked men ran away with my sister. My husband died after he was shot. I ran away from my home because my husband was shot in front of my kids.”

At least they don't have to worry about $4 a gallon gas.

Gully Creepa

MYANMAR

So right now we got over 100,000 people dead with thousands more missing in the delta region of Myanmar. The military junta is using this disaster as an opportunity to help sway upcoming elections by deliberately disallowing foreign aid and distributing propaganda portraying the government as in control... (http://video.on.nytimes.com/?fr_story=a9ce8b417c79aebe736894bb87cb53fe2c56ac06)

but now to whats really important...

You hear the one about the Yankees fan who, in a drunken rage, ran down and killed a Red Sox fan after he and his friends chanted "yankees suck?" Finally justice!

Miley Cyrus is still big news. This child pop icon is still receiving grief about her now infamous backshot on the cover of Vanity Fair. Not to dwell on naked young girls, but this whole fracas raises some important issues. Anyone who has visited Europe knows that its quite easy to see little girls' titties; all you have to do is go to your local beach. But the difference is that these girls are not sexualized; so it is not an issue. Chests are chests, nothing more. But here in America we are taught that 15yr olds can be pop icons. They can be given all of the responsibilities of an adult as messenger of our vicarious desires for fame and fortune, while satisfying our voyeuristic perversions, but then at the slightest indication of deviation from our forcibly imposed idealized manifestations we quickly turn against our idols and banish them to the front page of The New York post, or even worse, page six.

If we consider it porn if a 15yr old girl shows her back isn't that a reflection of OUR perverse attitude? Alone, a teen girl's back is not sexual, especially a wholesome teen icon's back, but for some reason our media and citizens are declaring in unison that Miley is a slut. Would she be a slut if we didn't already establish her as a subject of sexual desire?

Do we yell whore at women who unstrap their tops a the beach to secure an even back tan?
When was the last time we considered our doctors perverts for making us undress?
Do we scream porno when bare chested toddlers stumble around on diaper commercials?

The only reason this picture is considered racy is because we have made it that way. We, the American public, should be ashamed of our treatment of this young girl. She is not a sexual object and if she is, it is because we created her this way. Celebrities our a reflection of our desires, we decide what these stars represent.

We need to accept the picture for what it is, a harmless photo of a teenager's back.

As for me, if this is Miley at 15...I can't wait for her to turn 18! Yowza!

Enough titty talk...

Anyone attend the Sean Bell rallies in NYC? Some good ol' fashioned civil disobedience. Over 2oo more people thrown in jail. Rev. Al Sharpton got 'em going! I just hope these protesters are careful and don't pull out wallets to fast or threaten to "go to their trunks."

On a related note check out the police gunfire statistics for the past 11yrs:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/08/nyregion/08nypd.html?em&ex=1210478400&en=a075b29baae7fe50&ei=5087%0A

I'm Back!

After an extended hiatus, Street Thunder is back in effect!

Hide your daughters, tie up your wives, and lock your children in cages, cuz I'm on a warpath!

Find out what's happening in entertainment, politics, and current events....

Somewhere else, cuz all you're gonna find here is anger, vulgarity, and overall funny ass shit.

Hear what I have to say about:

Miley Cyrus

What a whore! The New York Post was right to put that news on the front page! A teenager posing topless for Vanity Fair!? Now 15yr old girls around the world are gonna want to see themselves in artful images created by famous celebrity photographers. That's gonna leave them no time for underage drinking, experimenting with drugs, and discovering the magical wonders of sexual interaction like every other normal post-pubescent teen!

Sean Bell

Hey, come on every once in a while can't cops shoot someone and not have to face the consequences. Really, not every victim of police violence is innocent. Maybe finally for once the cops got it right. And that's their job; cops are here to kill suspected criminals.

The Jail System

....

Today's Political Diatribe

It seems to be between Hillary and Obama for most of us humans out here in America. Today is your lucky day because Street Thunder is going to pick his candidate.

This is a hard choice.

Going Obama on your asses would be a great step in the right direction. This would prove to all those foreigners Amer'can's aren't just gun-totin', young girl/cousin bangin', rednecks but rather bandwagon following liberals who'll vote for the first non-white candidate in order to earn that much admired liberal street cred. Seriously, no offense to Obama but it seems like every white ass liberal arts college student is voting for Obama just to act like they are for the people. Most of these dumb ass muthafuckas don't even know what the fuck Obama is about they just wanna be cool and vote for the black guy to show race really doesn't matter to them. But I wonder who they'd blame if the hubcaps went missing from Air Force One.

On the other hand, we got Hillary. Fuck that! I'm not letting no woman lead my country even if she has sucked presidential cock! No, for serious, Street Thunder has nothing against a bitch, it's just if I'm voting for a female president she better be hot. What guy wants to be a sissy and vote for a girl! EW! I don't care if Obama has no idea what he's doing.

This must be an especially hard decision for all those feminists out there. Do they shun their vagina sharing compadre or do they make the right choice for humanity and steer American social progress towards a new end. Well I'm sure either way they won't mind as long as they don't have to shave their legs and pussies! And both candidates better not forget, ABORTIONS FOR ALL! Whether this be for sluts, hookers, rape victims, ugly girls, or retardos.

Luckily I'm no feminist, though that may come as a surprise, so now comes my pick...

Street Thunder declares...

No one, I don't vote.

Voting is for losers.

Today...

Ladies, open up your butt cheeks and let's get it cracking!

So, I stumbled on a new website recently...it's called

Asian Street Meat

hmmm...I like how that sounds!

And tastes!

Lemme get a Asian Street Meat Burger, extra raw, the bloodier the better!

Things White People Like Fo' Real

You ever read the things that white people like blog?? Its a bunch of hogwash...here's a list of what white people really like...

Forties (Steel Reserve)
Dutchmasters (Grape or Vanilla)
Asian girls with tight little vaginas and slutty tendencies
Underground Rap
Spanish girls with big butts, big brains, and even bigger hearts
Talking about busting shots...onto girls faces
Coming up with terms for boobs (taters, chimichongas, gangas...)
Bang Bus and Dirty Latina Maids
Getting blacked out drunk
Dancehall Reggae

oh wait...this is what Street Thunder likes!

It's Been A Long Time Coming

Greetings citizens....

Sorry for the lack of updates...

Soon there will be so much vulgarity that a fist in a woman's baby hole will be about as shocking as a hug between two good friends...

Or a hooker's 'gina will smell as pretty as a dandelion on the first day of spring...

For now...

Just remember every time virgin's butthole cherry gets popped an angel gets its wings

Today's Smart Shit From My Butt To Your Ears

On writing...

Writing must strive to rid itself of all phonological connotations and dependencies in order to be a separate entity distinguishable from its spoken counterpart. Once the sounds and formations of words take precedence over the inherent meanings of symbols writing is no longer writing but a written verbal expression, a rather innacurate representation of a spoken communication.

A true written poetry will not rely on wordly mellifluity, alliteration, or cadence, but rather the subconscious mellifluity of progression of ideas, the alliterations of similar concepts paraded in unison for maximum effect, and the true cadence that results from transitions of disparate ideas.

Letters To The Editor

Yo son,

Yo fo' real what is up wit the news? They always be talkin' bout people dyin' n shit, but only certain types of people.

There's people dyin' everyday and don't nobody write shit about them. Who the fuck cares about some middle-class bitch whose jealous husband killed her for insurance money while overseas our country kills mad people everyday and mad little kids is starving and shit in the third world.

I don't give a fuck about most the muthafuckas reported in the news, we gonna replace them anyway with someone else and the same ass story. We just get fed the same shit about the same types of victims over and over again.

And you know what? We forget that shit a week later, but we ain't never gonna forget all the real shit that goes down cuz we never heard it in the first place.

Sincerely,

Sir Lord Wesley Wellington

Abortions...

I'm all for abortions, if you know what I'm sayin'!

But let me ask a simple question, how come so many tree-hugging, no fur wearing, non-animal product eating hippies are pro-choice?

These anti-everythings won't eat eggs but will hard-boil a fetus any day of the week.

So, seriously what's the deal?

Today's Dancehall Comments

In Jamaica dances and accompanying songs spring up almost simultaneously. Often a dance will gain popularity before a song but just as often songs will promote a dance. A few popular dances of the past couple of years:

Tek Wey Yuh Self
Hot Fuk

and obviously,

Dutty Wine

Many artists will devote songs to a single dance but often one song will prevail over the others and become the "official" track. For example, Tony Matterhorn's "Dutty Wine."

The Dutty Wine was such a hit that it spawned urban legends; stories of women who died trying to perform the maneuvers. These urban legends even prompted an ad agency to develop a commercial which featured women in an emergency room suffering from neck injuries after attempting a strikingly similar move. (Sorry, I can't remember the ad I only saw it once but it was for a big company...maybe a soft drink?) You can also find 1000's of videos on youtube of amateurs practicing this move as well as a multitude of "Dutty Wine Gone Wrong" videos of young woman busting their asses.

For more information, get your ass down to Jamaica or into the club. Or for the time being check out "Dutty Fridaze" videos on Youtube.

Dutty Fridaze is a weekly party in Jamaica hosted by the prominent selector Tony Matterhorn... More about these parties in weeks to come...

also see Weddy Wednesdays
or
Passa Passa
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/lifestyle/html/20031120T210000-0500_51896_OBS_THE__PASSA_PASSA__PHENOMENON.asp

People Talk A Lotta Gabbage and Smack

As I have grown and matured there is one profound piece of knowledge that I stumbled upon which had drastically shaped my world view: most people talk out they ass and many people say exactly the opposite of what they truly believe.

There are many reasons for this, for example, sometimes I find myself falling into this vortex of lies.

"So, Street Thunder what are you going to do about that girl?"
"Well, basically I'm just going to be honest, I'll tell her whatever she decides I'll be there for her as a friend. Her friendship would mean a lot to me and then we are both winners!"
"Wow, Street Thunder, you are a true gentleman"
"Yeah, I mean, I just respect her a lot, she is a really great person"

Now let's get to the bottom of things. What was really being said?

"So, Street Thunder, are you gonna keep tryin' to get in dem panties?"
"Hell yeah, But she's not even gonna know what hit her because I'm gonna play the nice guy role, get her liqoured up and then apply smash tactics with extreme prejudice! POW! She is going down, I will destroy her!"
"Yeah son, get all up in dat!"
"Oh yeah, I been trying to tap that for years, she is a sex pot! DAMN! I'd like to take a bite of dat ass! YOWZA!"

Obviously, initially I was trying to convince myself of my gentlemanly nature and truly believe that I can have a platonic relationship with a beautiful respectable woman. I want to be convinced that I can handle the rejection of my advances and accept the agony of defeat.

But it isn't just men who fall victim to such circumlocutions. Woman too will try to hide their true intentions, wrap themselves in a thin veil of empty words, and embrace an innocence long lost.

"Well, Street Thunder, I'm a little uncomfortable right now. I should've told you before we went out tonight that I kinda have a boyfriend"
"Oh, don't worry, I already knew. Just relax, I'm not mad"
"I just don't feel right doing this, I'm sorry."
"Its OK, I understand. Would you like something to drink?"

Hmmm, an interesting situation. Late night after the bar, I have found myself seated on the couch across from a sexy lady; a familiar dilemma adorned in oddly chosen words. I wonder what we were really saying?

"Yo, Street Thunder, my pussy is so wet I just wanna get railed. I might even let you tear up my sweet virgin asshole. Damn, I knew this was gonna happen!"
"Oh, soon enough, I'm just gonna get you a lil' more horny. Prepare for the attack!"
"I think my vagina is talking, its saying I am hungry for cock!"
"Woman, you didn't know I speak pussy talk? A little more vodka and it'll hurt a lot less, I'm gonna learn you holes you didn't even know you had!"

Needless to say less than two minutes after these words were spoken our tongues were engaged in hand to hand combat and my fingers were bravely creeping into no man's land. Again, this was another examples of a person saying what they wanted to believe. The mouth says one thing and the crotch says another.

It is not only sexual situations in which people speak out they ass, but these occurrences are the most frequent. I have learned to trust not what I say or what a woman says to me but rather trust my carnal instincts. So people, my piece of advice today is don't trust the words that fall out of people's mouths, but rather follow your heart and this will lead you to the promised land.

Funniest Show on TV

Human Giant is the funniest shit out there...

Today's Phrase

Titty Ass

Wussy, ill-mannered, or corny

eg. Yo, don't be a titty ass bitch! Drink that shit!
eg. That is some titty ass shit, why wouldn't she let you put it in her butt?
eg. Those are some titty ass beats, I can imagine Paris Hilton rapping over them.

see Punk Panty Bitch

Ros Sereysothea

Ros Sereysothea is my new favorite Cambodian singer...

check out:

http://thecoleranch.com/rossereysothea.html

She spits that hot shit

One day...

One day I wanna be able to bring a beautiful, vivacious, caring, kind, and intelligent woman home to my parents and be like, "Mom, Dad, this is my fiancé...SHE CAN DUNK!"

And then she'll run up from behind me I'll alley-oop a basketball to her and she'll two handed jam on our driveway basket and rip the rim off.

A man can dream...

Today's Words

Punk Panty Bitch

A punk panty bitch is basically the vulgar term for lame partier or party pooper

e.g. Help me chug this vodka you punk panty bitch!
e.g. Oh, don't be a punk panty bitch, stop crying , you already knew your girl was a whore, let's go take some shots and run up in some ho's.

Vag Count (pronounced VAJ)

How many vaginas are in a certain place at a specified time

see related: Vag to Dude Ratio

Smash Tactics

Any strategic moves applied in order to get up in that.

What Comes After The Lightning...

What comes after the lightning?
The thunder
What comes after the Street Thunder?
The ladies
What comes after the ladies?
The Street Thunder again, and onto the ladies' faces

Greetings you pussyhole bombaclaats, not much going on today so just take a moment to sit back and relax. Reflect on your life and just ask yourself, "What could I do with a girl who had two vaginas? Or a dude with two dicks?" The possibilities are endless...

Today's Actually Smart Quotes

To speak means to be in a position to use a certain syntax, to grasp the morphology of this or that language, but it means above all to assume a culture, to support the weight of a civilization.

A man who has a language consequently possesses the world expressed and implied by that language.

Franz Fanon Black Skin, White Masks

Today's Question To Really Think About

Do you ever find yourself reading a newspaper article about a tragedy then looking at the pictures of the victims and assessing their hotness?

Today's Advice

On women:

All it takes is a little whiskey and persistance.

On dating:

Find someone you can get drunk and freestyle with.

On arguing:

Always entertain the option of a good intelligent argument because the worst that could happen is that you lose and learn something new. Or someone ends up crying.

Today's Topic For Discussion: The Mentally Disabled

Disclaimer: Please do not read if you get offended easily

First of all I'd like to give a big up to the special needs crew!

Downs syndrome massive in the house!

Recently at the supermarket I was "helped" by a couple of less abled people. First, the man making my lunch basically fucked the whole thing up. I asked for a specialty sandwich which consisted of roast beef, swiss cheese, russian dressing, and coleslaw on rye. I ended up with roast beef, thousand island, and coleslaw on a roll. Then a tried to buy a half pound of chick pea Masala and ended up getting screwed because he never zeroed out the scale, so basically I paid $10 a pound for a plastic container.

So I went to pay, and was startled by a monotone burst of vocal exuberance questioning, "Paper or plastic." I din't think people actually asked that but it was somewhat flattering and polite, I guess. I noticed that my salad rang up for $8 instead of $4, or so I thought, because i mentioned this to the cashier and he angrily responded in his robo-voice, "It's only $4!" Then he gave me a dirty look, turned away. and didn't even respod when I said thanks. He gave me the cold shoulder! Like I was retarded!

Fuck That!

Really what is up with hiring the mentally disabled for jobs that the mentally disabled challenged can do? Have we become so politically (in)correct that we are willing to hire rude, incompetent, tempestuous, robotic, and unpredictable workers just to make ourselves feel better.

Honestly have you ever heard someone say, "Hmm, this job seems difficult, I might as well hire a bunch of idiots to do it?" But we will hire the mentally disabled.

That's bad enough but doesn't hiring the mentally disabled make the mentally disabled challenged feel bad? Imagine if you found out that your colleagues and equals, or even superiors had special helpers and wore helmets at some point in their lives. Dang, that's not good for worker morale. How are you supposed to feel needed if, forgive the language, a retard can do your job. There are many occupations fit for these persons with special needs. But I'm tired of having my grocery bags fucked up, my floors swept half-assedly, and my country led into pointless wars. Hire able-minded individuals to take these jobs. I'm sure there are many occupations that require larger foreheads and smaller eyes.

Also, what is up with adopting children with special needs? I understand keeping them if you have 'em but consciously making the decision to adopt a child with such qualities? I can just imagine...

"Hmmm, I'm not sure if I want a child that's going to function on his own and be a productive member of society...I'll take that one!"

That's like going to the department store and buying jeans with a broken zipper. So I guess you can say adopting a mentally disabled child is kind of like shopping at the clearance rack at TJ MAXX.

And really, I want a son who is going to bang hot chicks. If he has special needs he's only going to be able to get chicks (or dudes) with special needs. Eww! That's gross! I mean we all get blacked out sometimes, every once in a while its alright to take a dip in that special sea of punani, but c'mon!

And for my daughter, she better bring home the Quarterback of the football team (or head cheerleader) and not a kid named Smiley whose face is frozen in an eternal grin and can tell me the schedule of every bus in NJ.

I don't have anything against the mentally disabled but when are we gonna keep it real. We don't give special privilege to really stupid people or really ugly people. We criticize people for the slightest mistakes but forgive these rude ungrateful disabled individuals who take advantage of our generosity every chance they get! Believe me this is only the beginning! Soon enough these "mentally-challenged"persons will be passing legislation, writing our laws, owning our businesses, and marrying our daughters!

This needs to stop now, and I'll be the first to say I'm not giving anyone any special privileges unless they earn 'em! Like Corky from Life Goes On, he's kind of the man. I'd get krunk up in the club with him any day. You know how many chicks you could get chilling with a normal retarded guy? Playing that caring nice-guy role... Then imagine if the retardo was famous!

Some Songs I been Listening Too

Sometimes bitches make you feel a certain way and you can't always just bang 'em in the ass to feel better. This is what I listen to during those times like right now:

Song Title Artist

• I Found An Angel Tony Allen & The Chimes
• You Send Me Sam Cooke
• Manha De Carnaval Vinicius de Moraes
• Mr. Lonely Bobby Vinton
• No,No,No You Don't Love Me Dawn Penn
• Let Me Love You Jacob Miller
• Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight The Dell's

Other times holes must be invaded. These are delightful selections from my favorite Panty Dropper mixtapes. Ladies wear your panty belts and gentleman come equipped with goggles because unmentionables will be flying off at tremendous speeds when you pop these bad boys into the old ghetto blaster:

Song Title Artist

• Love and Happiness Al Green
• I Wanna Do Something Freaky to You Leon Haywood
• I'd Rather Be With You Bootsy Collins
• Juicy Fruit Mary Jane Girls

Sometimes even Street Thunder needs a good cry. Needless to say, but my tears are rather lightning bolts. During these rare occasions I listen to such jams:

Song Title Artist

• Walk On By Dionne Warwick
• Cristo Redentor Donald Byrd
• The Monster Inside Me Daniel Johnston
• La Comparsa Alberto Semprini

Today's Joke

What did one Hip Hop Pickle say to the other Hip Hop pickle?

Yo, what the dill?

Today's Dirty AIM Log

The names have been changed to protect the innocent:


Hillary Clinton: i wouldnt have done it if i werent drunk thats for sure
Hillary Clinton: yea im an idiot
Barack Obama: hahahahah
Hillary Clinton: i shoulda let him put it in my butt
Barack Obama: you werehungry
Barack Obama: you should!
Hillary Clinton: lol
Barack Obama: butt sex is safe
Barack Obama: but it takes a while to stretch out the butthole enough where tis comfortable
Hillary Clinton: yea im not into it
Barack Obama: BUUUUUUTT SEEEEEEx
Barack Obama: yeah yeah yeah
Barack Obama: i like petite girls so its not really an option
Barack Obama: they could die!
Hillary Clinton: lol
Hillary Clinton: ew
Barack Obama: fire in the hole!
Barack Obama: ew what?
Hillary Clinton: i just makes me want to poop
Barack Obama: exactly ...i feel bad for a bitch
Hillary Clinton: and people get too aggressive
Barack Obama: yeah and then they stick their dick in your mouth!
Hillary Clinton: your mouth maybe
Hillary Clinton: i hope no one else is reading this Barack
Hillary Clinton: you butthole
Barack Obama: no thats what you gotta do!
Barack Obama: if you bang a girl in the butt you gotta put it in her mouth! its only logical!
Barack Obama: im gonna post it on my blog
Hillary Clinton: haha
Hillary Clinton: good
Hillary Clinton: no dont
Barack Obama:ha ha!
Barack Obama: ill use different names
Hillary Clinton: not about what i did last night...other stuff i dont care

Dancehall Reggae

Dancehall Reggae is basically all I listen to nowadays. Phonologically speaking dancehall provides arguably the most advanced lyrical content yet seen in music. The sound patterns! Patterns! Palatal to Labial! And back again! Crazy!

Dancehall provides an abundance of support for the recognition of a Jamaican language without such disparaging connotations of the patois and creole labels.

Check out these artists:

Elephant Man
Beenie Man
Buju Banton
Tony Matterhorn
Busy Signal
Movado
Cham
Assassin
Ding Dong
Aidonia

In dancehall, as with other forms of reggae, riddims are released then multiple artists lay down tracks essentially competing to own the track.

Some famous riddims you've already heard:

Filthy Riddim
Bogle Riddim
Coolie Dance Riddim

Some of my favorites:

Stage Show Riddim
Bellyas Riddim
Villain Riddim
Bruk Out Riddim
Bad Belly Riddim
Intercom Riddim

New Hot Riddims:

Creepa Riddim
Gear Box Riddim (check out the Beenie Man! Who dem say dem badda than?)
Big Problem Riddim
Gangster Streets Riddim (Kartel! Kill dem when you burn dem!)
Dem Gal Sittin Riddim (fi the ladies!)

New Words

Today's words:

Butt Crumbs

Butt Crumbs can be best described as what remains on your finger after you pull your finger out of someone or something's butt hole.

There are many uses for butt crumbs:

Dress a salad; with a little Balsamic vineger and butt crumbs any boring salad becomes a delicious adventure.

Breaded butt crumb chicken fingers...MMMM! Just like mom used to make!

Butt Crumb Cake

The list goes on...

But just remember this one rule: NEVER EAT YOUR OWN BUTT CRUMBS!
That's just gross!

Titty Sandwich

Lettuce, Tomato, and Titties on any type of bread

some may ask, "But Street Thunder, with which hand with do I eat a Titty Sandwich?"

That's easy, whichever hand does not have butt crumbs on it!

If you enjoy Tittie sandwiches you may like the BLT; Bacon, Lettuce, and Tittie that is!

It has begun...

Greetings and welcome to:

Lightning Bolts Up Your Ass: The Most Vulgar Place On Earth

THE OFFICIAL BLOG OF:

Street Thunder (signed with a lightning bolt)

Here you will find the deepest and darkest secrets of the man known by friends, family, and enemies as simply Street Thunder.

Updated on the regular, this blog will give you insight into the workings of the mind of the man behind the madness.