People Talk A Lotta Gabbage and Smack

As I have grown and matured there is one profound piece of knowledge that I stumbled upon which had drastically shaped my world view: most people talk out they ass and many people say exactly the opposite of what they truly believe.

There are many reasons for this, for example, sometimes I find myself falling into this vortex of lies.

"So, Street Thunder what are you going to do about that girl?"
"Well, basically I'm just going to be honest, I'll tell her whatever she decides I'll be there for her as a friend. Her friendship would mean a lot to me and then we are both winners!"
"Wow, Street Thunder, you are a true gentleman"
"Yeah, I mean, I just respect her a lot, she is a really great person"

Now let's get to the bottom of things. What was really being said?

"So, Street Thunder, are you gonna keep tryin' to get in dem panties?"
"Hell yeah, But she's not even gonna know what hit her because I'm gonna play the nice guy role, get her liqoured up and then apply smash tactics with extreme prejudice! POW! She is going down, I will destroy her!"
"Yeah son, get all up in dat!"
"Oh yeah, I been trying to tap that for years, she is a sex pot! DAMN! I'd like to take a bite of dat ass! YOWZA!"

Obviously, initially I was trying to convince myself of my gentlemanly nature and truly believe that I can have a platonic relationship with a beautiful respectable woman. I want to be convinced that I can handle the rejection of my advances and accept the agony of defeat.

But it isn't just men who fall victim to such circumlocutions. Woman too will try to hide their true intentions, wrap themselves in a thin veil of empty words, and embrace an innocence long lost.

"Well, Street Thunder, I'm a little uncomfortable right now. I should've told you before we went out tonight that I kinda have a boyfriend"
"Oh, don't worry, I already knew. Just relax, I'm not mad"
"I just don't feel right doing this, I'm sorry."
"Its OK, I understand. Would you like something to drink?"

Hmmm, an interesting situation. Late night after the bar, I have found myself seated on the couch across from a sexy lady; a familiar dilemma adorned in oddly chosen words. I wonder what we were really saying?

"Yo, Street Thunder, my pussy is so wet I just wanna get railed. I might even let you tear up my sweet virgin asshole. Damn, I knew this was gonna happen!"
"Oh, soon enough, I'm just gonna get you a lil' more horny. Prepare for the attack!"
"I think my vagina is talking, its saying I am hungry for cock!"
"Woman, you didn't know I speak pussy talk? A little more vodka and it'll hurt a lot less, I'm gonna learn you holes you didn't even know you had!"

Needless to say less than two minutes after these words were spoken our tongues were engaged in hand to hand combat and my fingers were bravely creeping into no man's land. Again, this was another examples of a person saying what they wanted to believe. The mouth says one thing and the crotch says another.

It is not only sexual situations in which people speak out they ass, but these occurrences are the most frequent. I have learned to trust not what I say or what a woman says to me but rather trust my carnal instincts. So people, my piece of advice today is don't trust the words that fall out of people's mouths, but rather follow your heart and this will lead you to the promised land.