Today's Topic For Discussion: The Mentally Disabled

Disclaimer: Please do not read if you get offended easily

First of all I'd like to give a big up to the special needs crew!

Downs syndrome massive in the house!

Recently at the supermarket I was "helped" by a couple of less abled people. First, the man making my lunch basically fucked the whole thing up. I asked for a specialty sandwich which consisted of roast beef, swiss cheese, russian dressing, and coleslaw on rye. I ended up with roast beef, thousand island, and coleslaw on a roll. Then a tried to buy a half pound of chick pea Masala and ended up getting screwed because he never zeroed out the scale, so basically I paid $10 a pound for a plastic container.

So I went to pay, and was startled by a monotone burst of vocal exuberance questioning, "Paper or plastic." I din't think people actually asked that but it was somewhat flattering and polite, I guess. I noticed that my salad rang up for $8 instead of $4, or so I thought, because i mentioned this to the cashier and he angrily responded in his robo-voice, "It's only $4!" Then he gave me a dirty look, turned away. and didn't even respod when I said thanks. He gave me the cold shoulder! Like I was retarded!

Fuck That!

Really what is up with hiring the mentally disabled for jobs that the mentally disabled challenged can do? Have we become so politically (in)correct that we are willing to hire rude, incompetent, tempestuous, robotic, and unpredictable workers just to make ourselves feel better.

Honestly have you ever heard someone say, "Hmm, this job seems difficult, I might as well hire a bunch of idiots to do it?" But we will hire the mentally disabled.

That's bad enough but doesn't hiring the mentally disabled make the mentally disabled challenged feel bad? Imagine if you found out that your colleagues and equals, or even superiors had special helpers and wore helmets at some point in their lives. Dang, that's not good for worker morale. How are you supposed to feel needed if, forgive the language, a retard can do your job. There are many occupations fit for these persons with special needs. But I'm tired of having my grocery bags fucked up, my floors swept half-assedly, and my country led into pointless wars. Hire able-minded individuals to take these jobs. I'm sure there are many occupations that require larger foreheads and smaller eyes.

Also, what is up with adopting children with special needs? I understand keeping them if you have 'em but consciously making the decision to adopt a child with such qualities? I can just imagine...

"Hmmm, I'm not sure if I want a child that's going to function on his own and be a productive member of society...I'll take that one!"

That's like going to the department store and buying jeans with a broken zipper. So I guess you can say adopting a mentally disabled child is kind of like shopping at the clearance rack at TJ MAXX.

And really, I want a son who is going to bang hot chicks. If he has special needs he's only going to be able to get chicks (or dudes) with special needs. Eww! That's gross! I mean we all get blacked out sometimes, every once in a while its alright to take a dip in that special sea of punani, but c'mon!

And for my daughter, she better bring home the Quarterback of the football team (or head cheerleader) and not a kid named Smiley whose face is frozen in an eternal grin and can tell me the schedule of every bus in NJ.

I don't have anything against the mentally disabled but when are we gonna keep it real. We don't give special privilege to really stupid people or really ugly people. We criticize people for the slightest mistakes but forgive these rude ungrateful disabled individuals who take advantage of our generosity every chance they get! Believe me this is only the beginning! Soon enough these "mentally-challenged"persons will be passing legislation, writing our laws, owning our businesses, and marrying our daughters!

This needs to stop now, and I'll be the first to say I'm not giving anyone any special privileges unless they earn 'em! Like Corky from Life Goes On, he's kind of the man. I'd get krunk up in the club with him any day. You know how many chicks you could get chilling with a normal retarded guy? Playing that caring nice-guy role... Then imagine if the retardo was famous!